Gay Weddings with Political Undertones

It's pretty standard for legal gay weddings to have this very strong energy of triumph to them, a spirit of "FINALLY!  We can get legally married!"  As a result, many couples seek to bring a little bit of politics into their ceremony, and sometimes even their reception.  More

Why Gay Weddings Change the World

When I talk about gay weddings, as I often do, I generally stick to the practical stuff.  That's what most wedding professionals want to know:  how to market to same-sex couples and what makes a gay wedding different. I can talk about that all day long, but the real reason that I do what I do is much deeper than making a buck off of the gay wedding market.  Sean Low's post yesterday inspired me to share my own thoughts about why gay weddings are so special.

Is One of You the Bride and One of You the Groom in the Relationship?

"Is one the bride and one the groom in a gay relationship?"    More

Gay Weddings in the Media

Gay Weddings in the Media  More

Those Who Work with Same-Sex Couples Must be Advocates

must be their advocates  More

Do Same-Sex Couples Change their Name when Married?

Thanks to Jennifer Ramirez-Jasiczek from A Regal Affair who wrote to me with this question:  do same-sex couples change their last names after marriage?  What are some trends you've seen?

  • Same-sex couples who have been together for years are most likely to keep their original last names.
  • Same-sex couples who are 35 and younger are more inclined to changing their names.

I've seen hyphenated last names - like my wife, Jennifer Coveney-Smith.  I've seen non-hyphenated like me, Bernadette Coveney Smith (yes, we did something different).  I've seen one partner take the others' last name, like my brides who are getting married on Saturday, who will both use the last name of DeMarco.  

But I love it when same-sex couples invent entirely new names, some of which were not remotely similar to either of the old names.  That's kind of fun - as they begin a new life together, they do so with a new name.  

Old names: Caulfield and Stansberry
New last name:  Stansfield (merging Caulfield and Stansberry)

Old names:  Zeitlin and Sakash
New name:  Zash

What does this mean for you in the wedding industry?  First, don't assume that you'll know what the couple is doing.  Second, if you know it, use their new last names in post-wedding correspondence.   Third, be mindful that it's much easier for a legally married individual to change his or her name than someone who is not legally married.  All my clients have to show is a certified copy of their marriage license, like any other person.  Same-sex couples who have commitment ceremonies and are not legally married have to go through their state's name change process (which typically involves petitioning a judge).  I talked to a couple recently who were denied the name change by a homophobic judge.

What have you seen some couples do regarding their last names after marriage?  More

"Love is Love is Love"

AmeriCorps  More

Overheard at a Recent Gay Wedding

"Thank God for Massachusetts for letting us come here to get married!"  More

Redefining Bridegroom

bridegroom  More

Gay Wedding Myths

Jennifer Ramirez-Jasiczek  More