Gay Weddings are Good for Business

In our groundbreaking 2010-2011 survey, we asked nearly 500 engaged and newlywed same-sex couples how they found the wedding professionals to hire for their wedding.  We gave them options like print ads in wedding magazines, mainstream wedding blogs, mainstream wedding directories (ie TheKnot, WeddingWire), wedding expos, and more.

The top three ways same-sex couples find vendors are: 

1) googled terms like “New York Gay wedding photographer” 

2) word of mouth; and 

3) gay wedding directories.

The use of gay-specific search terms, directories and word of mouth clearly indicates that same-sex couples prefer to work with businesses who reach out to them and come recommended.  The more you can do to proactively reach this market, the more success you will have.

85% of engaged and newlywed LGBT couples surveyed in 2010-2011 found it very or somewhat important to hire businesses with LGBT inclusive language.  Language focused on the "bride" (and only one!) can lose you business. This is exactly why you should update your materials to be inclusive!

Stay tuned as we release more data on the habits of engaged and newlywed same-sex couples!

In 2010-2011, we surveyed nearly 500 engaged or newly married LGBT couples from around the U.S. and are now starting to release the data.

This question is, "What wedding blog do you read the most?" and the responses are:

• So You're EnGAYged 18.43%
• Offbeat Bride 10.27%
• Style Me Pretty 5.74%
• Wedding Bee 5.14%
• WeddingChicks 4.53%
• Snippet and Ink 3.63%
• IndieBride 3.32%
• Green Wedding Shoes 3.02%
• Junebug Weddings1.81%
• A Practical Wedding 1.21%
• 14 Stories 1.21%
• Other 3.02%
• Don't read 38.67%

Note: this survey was started before these great blogs launched:  Huffington Post Weddings, Equally Wed's blog, GayWedding.com's blog, A Bicycle Built for Two and For Real Equality Weddings

Today I participated in the Wedding Market Chat on Twitter and had some great questions!  You can follow along and check out the transcript here.  I shared some gay wedding data, some information on laws and policies and marketing tips. 

Thanks to Julie Albaugh from Wedding Market News for inviting me to participate!

In February I spoke at the Event Solutions Idea Factory conference and this new issue of their magazine has a great article on same-sex weddings.

You can read the Event Solutions magazine article here to see what my advice is for wedding professionals!

This site is intended to be a resource for wedding professionals and media who are interested in learning more about same-sex weddings.  That said, since I actually PLAN lots of gay weddings, I don't have as much time to keep this updated as I'd like!  Here are some resources to get you started:

• The Gay Wedding Glossary - the only one in the world, with loads of terminology and information on laws and so forth
• Data - We collect our own gay wedding data, but there's also some from the Williams Institute, Forbes and others
• Our App - it's a free download for iPhones and iPads and is a great tool for wedding planning
• Webinars - I teach quarterly webinars which cover everything you need to know about gay weddings (and more!)

Question:  When I first receive communication from a potential client they do not initially specify that they are an LGBT couple. On some occasions it is not even mentioned, until after a relationship is established. During our phone call I normally get a "feeling" because there is something mysterious about our conversation.  Why would a LGBT couple not come out when they first call or email?  Do you have a suggestion on how I can encourage them to be open from the beginning?

Answer:  Great question. I advise LGBT couples to come out right away when calling vendors so they get a sense right away whether they are dealing with someone supportive or not. That said, plenty of couples are too nervous to do so and afraid of rejection. As a wedding planner, your job is not to assume either way and when you do find out that it's a same-sex couple, be super cool and supportive in a genuine, authentic way. If you can create marketing materials that are inclusive, you will automatically set the right kind of open atmosphere they'll feel more comfortable in.  

Additionally, you'll have to start coming out on their behalf when you refer them to vendors.  Don't let the client call directly and don't assume that your typical vendor list is all gay-friendly so you can avoid a potentially homophobic situation entirely. Make sure you verify supportiveness by specifically asking yourself - and only partner your clients with those who are completely on board.  If someone that you refer your client to ends up being unsupportive, then you will look terrible!

We’ve all had booths at wedding expos in the past. And most wedding expos are targeted to straight couples but there are a few things you should keep in mind in the event that LGBT couples pass through these mainstream wedding expos.  They will come!  Slowly at first, but they'll be there!

1. When you see two women together, they may actually be getting married to each other! It’s true that one may be the bride and the other may be the MOH or a bridesmaid, but don’t make any assumptions either way. Don’t ask, “who’s the bride?” or “which one of you is getting married.” Follow the lead of the women – don’t make any assumptions. 

2. Similarly, when you see two men together, don’t ask, “where’s the bride?” 

3. If you have a form that you want couples to fill out for a raffle or for additional information, don’t say “bride’s name” and “groom’s name” – just say “name” or “bride/groom.” 

4. To the best of your ability showcase your work that is most neutral in tone. That means using photos that are detail shots, long shots and shots of a bride alone or a groom alone. The more images you have of a bride and groom together, the more put-off a same-sex couple may feel. 

5. If you do encounter a same-sex couple, avoid terms such as “sexual preference”, “lifestyle”, “homosexual” and avoid stereotyping them. Believe it or not, I was told by a couple that someone at an expo asked them if one of the partners was the “bride” and one was the “groom” in the relationship. 

These tips, when followed properly, should in no way turn off your potential straight clients either. They are designed to fall under the radar where your potential straight clients don’t notice and your potential same-sex clients are much appreciative.

Question:  Should vendors specifically state in their marketing material that they are willing to work with gay couples or is inclusive language sufficient? What are some other ways they can be sure their marketing materials are inclusive? 

Answer: That is a business decision each vendor will have to make. Inclusive language is the minimum I'd recommend and if you are not afraid of potentially losing straight wedding business, then it would be great to have language and/or photos that specifically mentions same-sex weddings, civil unions or commitment ceremonies.

Go through all of your marketing materials and circle every instance of "bride" or "bride and groom" and replace those terms with "couple", "client", "brides and grooms" or something else that is non gender-specific. That is a good start to making your materials inclusive.

Do you  have any burning questions for me?  Ask them here and I'll answer in an upcoming post!

Question:  Do same-sex couples really care if the contracts say bride and groom or is "the wedding couple" truly preferred? 

Answer:  They care about making sure that the contract does not say "bride and groom." However, "wedding couple" isn't the most smooth alternative. How about just saying "client names" or "names"? But do not let your same-sex wedding client see a contract that says "bride and groom."

Do you  have any burning questions for me?  Ask them here and I'll answer in an upcoming post!