Jen is Pregnant

I wanted to tell you that my wife, Jen Coveney-Smith is pregnant.  She's due in October.  It's a blessing and we're very excited to bring a baby into our already pretty awesome lives.

I thought it would be good to take this opportunity to answer any questions you may have about how same-sex couples start families.  I've had a bunch of clients with kids and many more planning to start families.  If you are working with same-sex couples on their gay wedding plans, you may be very curious about where the kids will come from - but be sure to satisfy your curiosity by asking your questions delicately and using open ended sentences. 

Here's our story:
Last fall we went to an open house on lesbian reproduction at a local health center.  We learned about our options for pregnancy and decided that Jen was going to carry the baby and the sperm would come from an anonymous donor from a sperm bank.  Jen's 34 and will be 35 in August.  We looked through the donor databases at a few different places, noting things like eye and hair color, height, weight, education, favorite tv show, favorite childhood memories and so on.  There's even one bank that tells you the donor's celebrity lookalike - very cool.  

We chose a donor who we both crushed on.  We don't know his celebrity lookalike but his profile sounded perfect to us.  And after the age of 18, the kid could even get to the contact the donor.  Not all donors consent to that but we thought that was a cool option if our kid someday felt so inclined.  

Our first insemination was on January 2 and the procedure took about 10 seconds in the doctor's office.  It's really quick and painless (according to Jen).  We were in New Orleans for The Special Event Show when Jen took a home pregnancy test, which proved to be negative.  We tried again on January 31.  On February 13, Jen had a positive pregnancy test!  She got pregnant on the second try which is pretty unbelievable for any couple, straight or gay.

We've since seen the baby's heartbeat a few times and it's really pretty cool what's going on inside her body.  We've both been kind of freaked out - Jen's freaked out by all the craziness that her body's doing; and planner that I am, I'm obsessed with space-saving strategies to fit a baby into our small 2BR condo!

But life is good.  That's just our story.   I've worked with both male and female couples on their own journey towards parenthood and by now, I'm pretty familiar with just about every available option to us so if you have any questions about either our situation or what other couples may choose, please leave it in the comments and I'm happy to answer.

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Julianne Smith (@gartergirl) commented on 05-Apr-2010 09:57 AM
Congrats! This is great news!
Enna commented on 05-Apr-2010 10:57 AM
Congrats! I am so happy for you both - parenthood is immensely life changing and rewarding!
Candice commented on 05-Apr-2010 04:26 PM
Congrats Bernadette... what a blessing. You two are going to be amazing parents. What a lucky baby-to-be! XOXO
Caroline from Paloma's Nest commented on 05-Apr-2010 04:50 PM
Congrats! So happy for you both and thank you for sharing your story.
Phyllis Cheung commented on 05-Apr-2010 07:03 PM
Congratulations to you both! The baby is going to be so loved!
Anonymous commented on 05-Apr-2010 10:43 PM
Thanks for all the support, ladies! We appreciate it very much.
Kath commented on 06-Apr-2010 09:33 AM
So happy and excited for you both! I look forward to hopefully reading an upcoming blog on life with baby! :)
Erica Prewett commented on 07-Apr-2010 08:07 AM
Congratulations to you both. Thank you for being so available and honest and open. The world is learning from you. I appreciate being your student. One thing is for sure: Your baby is going to be loved - not only by you both but also by all of us.
Daniel Sroka commented on 07-Apr-2010 01:44 PM
Congratulations! That is wonderful news!
suthi picotte commented on 08-Apr-2010 11:47 PM
congratulations!! babies are simply the best!
Juliet Douglas commented on 16-Apr-2010 06:32 PM
Congratulations!! That is exciting news!
christina commented on 21-Apr-2010 05:25 PM
congratulations! we are preggers too! due in september...we got pregnant on our 2nd try as well! i still almost don't believe it and i'm almost 20 weeks along. my partner's brother was our donor, which worked out really well! we were really lucky.. congrats & good luck i'm right there with you...only a few weeks ahead!

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