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Don't Look Like a Man

A few weeks ago I was in a clothing designer's studio taking a bride to be fitted for a custom pants suit.  Things were going really well and we made a follow up appointment.

Later that week, that bride's fiancee called me asking to cancel the second appointment with the clothing designer.  Why?

Because the bride's 87 year old mother said to her, "You better not be dressed like a man on your wedding day."

So instead of wearing a custom suit that she was really digging on, the next week we had her trying on wedding dresses.  And she looked and felt like a fish out of water.  I took her to places where the wedding dresses were simpler (like J Crew) but we didn't have any luck finding her something she'd be comfortable in - and that's because she'd be more comfortable in a suit.

This situation hasn't resolved itself yet.  How would you handle this situation?  As you work with lesbian brides, you might find yourself in a very similar situation.

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Rev. Gina B. commented on 01-Apr-2010 11:41 AM
I've been thining about this comment ever since you posted it on Twitter. I never considered parents being so I considerate, but then again, family is the main cause of stress during the planning of all weddings. I hope your brides and their families can come up with a solution or that your bride can find the courage to explain how uncomfortable she feels in dresses.
Amy commented on 01-Apr-2010 06:57 PM
I saw an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" where they dressed both women in a lesbian wedding. One wore a wedding dress, the other wore an ivory womens pant suit. Women can wear suits too and not look like a man! I think another option that I've seen my mom wear to formal functions (even though she's not a lesbian :) is the flowy pant and tunic type outfit. Dressy without being overly feminine.

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